This is for all the little girls who turned into women. Self doubting women, who are afraid to let their voices be heard. This is for everyone who has ever sat alone in the dark, believing that they were too much. This is for the beautiful humans that stay up late at night, taking inventory of their deficits; counting their flaws.
This is for all of the people who think that you should be over “whatever it is” that broke you open by now… The people who are naive enough to believe that their bare feet have touched (and traveled) the uneven earth in a way so similarly, that they are entitled to throw shade at your process. This is for all of the critics, whose votes don’t even count. For the people who make assumptions about you, because they “think” they would do things differently…
This is for the wakadoodle dandies that confuse your courage (to stand up and to let yourself be seen), as a cry for attention. It’s for the people that turn a blind eye to the patterns of behaviors, that showcase the depths of manipulation others are capable of; in turn keeping these people unaccountable and dishonest. For the people that convince themselves and tell others that what happened is in the past, and downplay the negative impact it had not only then, but carries with it now, for many people. The character of a person is measured by their actions.
It’s not our job to make others feel small for believing the wrong things. That’s not the intention here. The hope is that you and I can recognize pieces of ourselves within the people who don’t yet know better… The desire is that we are then able to cultivate empathy and compassion for what nauseates us. The goal is not to match the toxic and negative energy, but to instead level up, as you remain grounded and even more certain of why this is your fight.
The truth is we cannot do better until we know better. There were times when you and I had chosen wrong as well. These people want to believe that the “magic” they feel/felt is real; just like we once did… They are wounded (knowingly or not), and because of that they will try to shame you into silence, so they can sleep with the lies… All of which, will unfortunately perpetuate the harmful cycle of invalidating and hurting others; until they find the fortitude to heal themselves, inside out. Comfort can be found within the certainty of discomfort; especially when that is the emotional home you have known… The truth will break you.
This post is for anyone who has ever loved someone more than they loved themselves, and actually become better for it… It’s for the mommies that hold the hands of their little sweeties and walk forward, no matter how much their legs are trembling.
This share is for all of little girls, ladies, and women that didn’t and/or don’t have the support we’ve had. It’s for those that have been unable to demand that their voices be heard. For everyone that has navigated the unimaginable before us, (and for all of those that will), long after us…
This is for me, and her, (*AND HER), and you. The versions of us that existed before “that day/ and those moments,” the versions that have helped us survive since, and all of the versions that we have yet to have birthed into existence.
This is for every exhausted warrior who would rather forget, but whose body (and internal calendar) will not let her… There is a reason the feelings are back, or growing, and consuming your time. This is your reminder that you are not as alone as you feel. The desire to downplay what happened all those moons ago is fierce, but my darling, so are you!
The ache in your heart and the pain in your head are not your enemy. You don’t need to run from them. In fact, you are being called to do the exact opposite. Make space, open the door, and invite it all in.
This is an invitation to close your eyes, and allow yourself to navigate the tender terrain of your bruised existence.
Trace the scars with your fingertips, honoring the purpose they have served. Then let go. With each exhale allow yourself to release the judgement and resentment you hold towards yourself, (and yes others). Don’t let it stay trapped inside.
You are not inadequate. In fact, arguably more frightening is the white hot truth; that you are powerful beyond belief. This is exactly why THIS path is yours. Your purpose is more profound than your periphery even allows you to fathom.
You have been blessed with the strength, words, and wisdom that are required to fight for what you and many others (maybe even silently) believe in; which is why you must get up, get determined, and get on with it.
When it hurts and it’s hard, pause. Julia Roberts wasn’t wrong in Pretty Women when she said “The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?”
In many ways it’s easier to subscribe to someone else’s narrative of you, or to be duped into your own negative thought patterns…
To choose again (and differently) is a hard, but like a muscle, with practice your ability to do so will grow.
Do whatever it takes to regain your strength when you stumble. Call upon your inner Patrick Swayze, be your own hero; and take yourself out of that corner. Re-align with what you know is for the greatest good of all beings. True authentic strength and purpose are only found, when we make choices that we whole heartedly believe are in everyone’s best interest. Remember… Doing hard things is the price we must pay to evolve into who we are meant to become.
You aren’t doing this for yourself anymore. Actually, you never really were… It’s so much bigger than that.
“Act out of love for those who pay the price when people believe the wrong things.” 🤍