One time when I was in high school I had a science teacher who encouraged me to sign up for a college prep course that he was teaching. I remember looking at him and laughing as I explained that I wasn’t smart enough for that class. I was fast to point out by name, each […]Read More The “Bilotta effect”
As I’ve been healing I’ve been remembering things that I either wasn’t willing or able to process or feel until now. Sometimes things are too mind boggling or emotionally painful to understand/investigate so our psyche works to protect us, to keep us emotionally “sturdy.” Or it’s unable to protect us and so in a way, […]Read More “You know the truth by the way that it feels.”
As the storm of my life begins to calm I’ve noticed that there seems to be something heavy about a Sunday. This last one was no exception and so I began to write, process; apply salve to my soul… Perhaps this feeling will fade along with my memories of “family fun day’s.” Maybe if I […]Read More P.s. It’s Friday
“Victim impact statements are written or oral information from crime victims, in their own words, about how a crime has affected them.” It’s said that victim impact statements can often play a part in the sentencing of criminals. In the sentencing of perpetrators like you. No one asked for my victim impact statement, but I […]Read More My Victim Impact Statement
The 14 year old girl that you sexually abused isn’t the only victim of your insanely twisted and appalling actions. My hands shake to type these words, the nausea takes over, my breath becomes shallow, and most notably my heart continues to break… but there, I said it. I’m sick of kindly curtsying around the […]Read More Today Was A Day
Time is such a strange thing. I was about to be six weeks married, but instead I’m 8 weeks “out…” That’s not long in the game of life (hopefully), but in many ways it feels like a different existence all together… I suppose this is because there is such a distinct difference in who I […]Read More “It’s three a.m. I must be lonely…”
Late in evening, early in the morning, in the middle of the night; it strikes without warning. Like a sucker punch to the stomach, it hits you; leaving you doubled over, and gasping for your breath… Like cement blocks tied to your arms and legs, It weighs you down, determined to keep you in bed. […]Read More SURRENDER. FIND THE BEAUTY.
Molly, Molly, Molly, “Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes,” plus another; “Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes. That’s how you measure, measure” two years… (I’m not great at math so I’d like to give a shout out to “Rent” for lending me this legit intro for my letter to you; on what will […]Read More AN OPEN LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER ON HER SECOND BIRTHDAY
***small/ wicked major amendment*** “To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.”-Maya Angelou You, my mother, are like a hurricane. You possess an unexpected and remarkable amount of energy, you are indestructible, and ALWAYS the “eye” to my typhoon. Yes, the calm to my crazy. Oh, and you […]Read More MY MOTHER, THE HURRICANE
5.6.17 Holy. Shit. Two weeks ago today I woke up in the morning. I drank the black coffee that my doting fiancé delivered to my hand. We watched our daughter play as we exchanged glances that spoke more eloquently than our tired morning voices could, and I thought about how close away our forever was… […]Read More AN OPEN LETTER TO THE UNIVERSE ON THE DAY I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED.