Victory.

There was something really cathartic about unexpectedly stepping foot back into Maine district court today. I couldn’t help but recall the last time I was there, several months ago. My body seemed to viscerally remember the emotions and sensations, and how they almost swallowed me whole that day… I was so scared, sad, and seemingly […]

Love is the answer.

This year on Valentine’s Day I am single. Make your own coffee, carry your own groceries, do all the laundry, sleeping diagonally across the bed, paying all the damn bills… kind of single. I have a roommate, but it’s still always my night to take out the trash, and my turn to do the dishes… […]

Grief is a Symptom of the Heart

Things felt REALLY hard last week/ the week before… As the Thanksgiving arrived my strength felt as if it was shrinking. I consciously focused on all that I had to be grateful for, but it seemed to offer only fleeting happiness… I couldn’t shake or escape the inevitable emotional storm that was seemingly determined to […]

Sometimes The Holiday’s Hurt and That’s Ok

The holidays are such an intense time of the year when it comes to emotions… For lots of us they are rich with traditions and flooded with the obligatory and/or exciting visits from friends and family. They can certainly be a beautiful reminder of the love that exists in our lives and world; but for […]

I wanted to miss you, but I can’t.

I know the value of intention, which is why I knew my trip to Nicaragua was destined to be a powerful one; when I funded it with the sale of my engagement ring. I envisioned it as a week, on my own, for feeling and healing. It wasn’t until the time to leave seemed to […]

Feel Heard. Feel Seen. Feel Healed.

I knew when I decided to do an interview with Sharon Rose Vaznis for a local news station, that it’s not something everyone would have done, and that’s ok. In fact, I’m willing to bet most people wouldn’t have taken this route, which is precisely why deciding to do it, was almost an easy yes […]

The “Bilotta effect”

One time when I was in high school I had a science teacher who encouraged me to sign up for a college prep course that he was teaching. I remember looking at him and laughing as I explained that I wasn’t smart enough for that class. I was fast to point out by name, each […]

“You know the truth by the way that it feels.”

As I’ve been healing I’ve been remembering things that I either wasn’t willing or able to process or feel until now. Sometimes things are too mind boggling or emotionally painful to understand/investigate so our psyche works to protect us, to keep us emotionally “sturdy.” Or it’s unable to protect us and so in a way, […]

P.s. It’s Friday

As the storm of my life begins to calm I’ve noticed that there seems to be something heavy about a Sunday. This last one was no exception and so I began to write, process; apply salve to my soul… Perhaps this feeling will fade along with my memories of “family fun day’s.” Maybe if I […]

My Victim Impact Statement

“Victim impact statements are written or oral information from crime victims, in their own words, about how a crime has affected them.” It’s said that victim impact statements can often play a part in the sentencing of criminals. In the sentencing of perpetrators like you. No one asked for my victim impact statement, but I […]